First Days at Home

Coming home is always the best!  It is definitely also when things get REAL.  We were so grateful that my Mom was able to be here and watch Jacob and Sarah while we were away.  Because Benjamin was in the NICU during our stay at the hospital, Jacob and Sarah were never able to come down and see him.  We were so excited to introduce them to their new baby brother.  

We got home during their nap/quiet time.  Mark went upstairs to get Jacob and he was really nervous to come down.  It took some time but when he did it was the sweetest.  Sarah, of course, was ALL in as soon as she got up.  She immediately wanted to hold "the baby" and couldn't get enough of him.  It felt wonderfully crazy to now have THREE beautiful children that are ours forever.  

We spent the next couple of days resting and adjusting to our new life as a family of five.  Megan came up the day after we came home and Melina and my Dad came up the day after that and stayed the weekend.  Grandma Dixie came for a quick visit as well on Sunday.  

"Baby Brother" is so very loved.  It's been hard for the kids - and Mark and I too! - to adjust to calling Ben by his name.  We've been waiting for "baby brother" for a long time and we are so glad he is here.  It melted my heart the other day when Jacob randomly said, "It's nice having baby Ben here."  Yes, buddy, it IS nice.  

It's been so wonderful having this time together as a family.  Mark's work has been amazingly supportive and he almost got a full two weeks off of work.  Everything has been so relaxed and wonderful.  I even survived my first day home alone with three kiddos!  

Ben has been doing great.  I have loved the newborn stage with all of my kiddos and he has been no different.  I love the snuggling and simplicity of this stage.  

Jacob and Sarah love to help whenever they can and have been really patient with all of the changes.  Jacob loves having a baby brother and is already making great plans for the two of them.  And Sarah LOVES to help and is really happy the baby is "out".  Me too girl - me too.  

We are so grateful for all of the love and support we have received from so many.  It is amazing how already we can't imagine life before our little Benjamin came into it.  He has been so sweet and has brought such an amazing spirit to our home already.

NICU

About two hours after Benjamin was born they moved us upstairs to the mother and baby recovery rooms.  While we were moving Benjamin upstairs he started to make these grunting noises.  We actually thought that they were pretty cute but it started concerning the nurse.  

They told us that the grunting could be a sign that he was struggling to breath.  They asked if they could take him to the nursery to watch him for half an hour.  Gus and Darlene were so sweet and came right as we were getting into our room.  We got settled while they took little Benjamin to the nursery.  

After awhile the nurse came in and told us that his breathing was just fine but that they had discovered that his blood glucose levels were very low.  They said that they wanted to continue to monitor him and would keep us informed.  They kept coming in and telling us that his glucose levels were coming back low.  

Mark and I were just waiting for our little one to come back to us until about 2:00 in the morning when they came in and told us that they were moving him to the NICU.  I was shocked.  In my mind, I just thought of the NICU as a place for premature, teeny tiny babies.  We wanted to go down with him and help get him settled and get a better idea as to what was going on.  

We learned a lot.  Apparently "big" babies can be just as at risk as teeny, tiny babies for complications.  How it was explained to us was the Benjamin was too large for his body to regulate things properly.  So they would be checking his glucose levels every three hours and they needed to be greater than 40.  It was hard to see nurses getting him all hooked up to machines and it was really hard to watch them set up his IV.  He inherited my veins and they had a really hard time finding one that would work.  They finally got one set up in his hand but it seemed like every time he moved his little hand it would set off his alarm.  

At about 4:30 we headed back to our room.  We were really tired and worried about our little one.  We knew that he was in good hands and it didn't appear to be super serious but we were still worried.  We tried to get some sleep for a couple hours, got some breakfast and headed back down.  

We met our pediatrician down in the NICU and we came up with a plan.  Benjamin's levels had gone up and he wanted to have a pretty aggressive weaning plan.  The rest of the day was a bit of a blur.  We seemed to be constantly going back and forth between the NICU and my recovery room.  Benjamin didn't do as well with the aggressive weaning plan so we slowed that down a bit and he did much better.  

We were bummed because we really wanted Jacob and Sarah to be able to come and meet Benjamin in the hospital.  But the NICU didn't allow young children to come in.  One of the nice things that happened that day though was that one of my good friends, Karli, had her baby girl just the day before we did.  We were only three doors down from each other in recovery!  So we were able to visit with her and her husband for about an hour inbetween our NICU visits.  

It was an experience I definitely didn't imagine having.  We felt so blessed though that Benjamin wasn't in danger and would most likely not have to be there long.  I felt so sad as we would walk by the other rooms with these teeny-tiny babies with so many more problems.  I can't imagine how hard that would be as a parent.  

We loved our NICU nurse and she was so helpful in answering all of our questions and concerns.  Mark and I left the NICU for the last time at 10:30 that night pretty exhausted.  We were able to get a little bit of sleep and were so happy around 4:00 in the morning when they wheeled in our little boy.  It was the first time we had him with us since leaving the delivery room.  I just sat up and held him until morning.  

Later that morning he passed all of his tests to be discharged and we were so thrilled.  I was anxious to get our little guy home and start this next chapter in our lives.  We are so grateful for all of the kind people that helped us during our stay.  And we love our big, strong boy who was so brave throughout all of this.  

Birth Story

This pregnancy was a doozy.  In many ways it was very similar to my other pregnancies - but it did come with some new experiences as well.  The weeks leading up to Benjamin's birth seemed particularly rough.  I am not exactly sure why I was so anxious but I was just really ready to be done with pregnancy and meet this little one.  Things had gotten so uncomfortable and painful and I just felt spent.  

I had also been having contractions for quite some time which was a new experience for me.  It was confusing because I sometimes had a hard time feeling "sure" that it was a contraction.  My labor has always been back labor and since I have constant back pain it was hard for me to distinguish between the two.  

Last Saturday night though all of a sudden I started to have really intense contractions.  I had never had to time contractions before because my water has always broken prior to any contractions.  I started timing them and it just became more confusing to me.  They were very sporadic.  I would have a couple four or five minutes apart and then it would be twenty minutes before another one.  I was worried that I was in labor and worried about the distance between our home and the hospital.  Finally, in the early morning, I called my Mom and asked her if she would come up and stay with the kids so Mark and I could go down to the hospital.  

We arrived at the hospital in Logan at 8:00 Sunday morning.  They hooked me up and began monitoring me.  I was dilated to a 3 (with my other two children I had only been a 1 when my water broke) but after an hour I hadn't progressed at all.  Apparently the standard is that you need to be at least a 4 to be admitted.  I was so discouraged - and a little embarrassed - that I had been so worried for nothing.  It was definitely discouraging having to make the drive back through the canyon home without our baby boy.  

We tried to just continue things as normal.  I was so grateful to have my Mom up here to distract me and help with the kiddos.  Monday night, Mark and I drove down to Logan for his company Christmas party and we had a great time (except for I really wanted to bribe the OB's that were there for some petocin).  

The next day I had my 38 week appointment with my doctor.  Again, I couldn't help comparing it to my previous pregnancies.  Both Jacob and Sarah were born at 38 weeks and I just felt sure that this little boy would come at the same time.  Luckily, Mark took the day off and my Mom stayed with the kiddos so we could just go to our appointment together.  We brought our hospital bag but I was definitely not very optimistic.  I hadn't had hardly any contractions since Sunday and was convinced that I hadn't progressed any further.  

Once my doctor came in we started talking and I told him about what had happened Sunday.  He then turned to me and asked me what I wanted.  He asked if I wanted things to happen naturally or if I wanted things to be "helped" along.  I told him I was up for whatever we could do.  He then measured me and things started happening.  

He finished up and said, "This is what we are going to do..." and I could have kissed him!  He told Mark and I to go over to the hospital and that he was going to call them and they would be expecting us.  He told the nurse that I was at a four and said he would see us soon.  I was giddy.  I still am not sure if he was telling the truth or just taking pity on me but either way I loved him for it!  

It was wonderful walking into the hospital KNOWING that we would be leaving with our baby boy.  They got us set up in our room and hooked up with all of our monitors and immediately set up with some petocin.  They cranked it up pretty high and things started moving fast - or at least it felt like it.  They kept asking me how soon I wanted my epidural after they broke my water.  I wasn't sure how to answer because it had always broken on it's own.  I decided that I wanted it sooner than later.  

My doctor came in and broke my water which was a new experience for me.  But he said he had hardly touched it before it broke so I am sure I would have broken on it's own had I waited a couple more days.  The anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural and that was great.  I was dilated to a six and even though the contractions were pretty intense (even with the epidural) I wasn't dilating very quickly.  They had me lie on my side and within twenty minutes I began to feel a lot of pressure.  We told the nurse and she checked me and said we were ready to go!

Everyone came in and got the room prepared and we just sat and waited for my doctor to arrive.  And after pushing through two contractions our little one was here!  It was so fast and I was so grateful!  As soon as he was born my doctor said he was a big boy!  I was shocked when they told me he was a whopping eight pounds eleven ounces!  

There is nothing that compares to the first time you get to hold your little one.  It is amazing to me how immediately I forget about all of the pain and discomfort of labor and pregnancy and all I feel is love for that little one.  

Once Mark and I had some quiet moments alone in the room we were able to talk about the name of our little one.  I love how that has happened each time. 

We love our little one so much.  He is absolutely perfect and we are thrilled to finally have him here with our family.  We don't know what we did without him.  

Benjamin Lewis

We are so excited to announce the birth of our son

Benjamin Lewis

He was born at 3:45 PM on Tuesday, December 6.  He weighed a whopping 8 pounds 11 ounces, measured 19 1/2 inches, and is perfect.  We love him so much.  

As with each of our other children, Benjamin's name came perfectly to us.  As soon as we had a private moment after the birth, Mark and I looked at one another and we both knew exactly what his name should be.  Lewis is my Grandpa Moldenhauer's name, who passed away earlier this year, and I love that our little man carries his name with him.  I hope that he can grow to be as faithful, hardworking and dedicated to family as my Grandfather was.

We love you, baby brother.

Reindeer Trek

This afternoon we headed down to Logan to do some family fun.  It feels like it has been awhile and it was a great little activity to do.  We headed to Willow Park Zoo for their Reindeer Trek event.  It was so fun.  It's just a teeny-tiny zoo but they had it decorated in Christmas lights, had hot chocolate and cookies, reindeer that we could pet, crafts and SANTA!  

The kiddos had lots of fun and Mark and I had loads of fun watching them.  They are getting so big.  I can't believe it.  As we were leaving it dawned on us that this is probably *hopefully* the last family fun activity with just the four of us.  I can't wrap my mind around it.  I am so excited.  It's pretty amazing to watch your family grow.  

We are ready for you baby brother.  

Feel free to come anytime...

Thanksgiving

What a year!  Thanksgiving always makes me really reflective about our past year.  And this has been quite the year.  We moved into our new house just days after Thanksgiving last year and I definitely would never have believed that we would have already sold our home and moved and taken a new job in Bear Lake.  

This has definitely been a year of tender mercies.  As hard as 2015 was, this year we have seen the hand of our Heavenly Father in so many aspects of our family's life.  So many things we didn't understand  why had to happen began to make sense and it has been a testimony builder in faith and patience.  

This year, while reflecting on my blessings, Mark immediately came to my mind.  I am thankful every day for this man, but this year has really shown me just how well we work together.  Having him gone so much for the majority of the year made me really aware of how much I depend on him - but in a really good way.  We work so well together and he builds me up in ways no one else can.  I don't know what I would do without him.  And being able to see him every day since we have moved to Garden City with this new job has only confirmed how much I need and love this man.  

I am also so grateful for Jacob and Sarah.  Being a mom is a dream come true and they are so patient and always forgiving with me and my shortcomings.  They fill our family with joy and I love seeing them grow in so many different ways.  It has been so much fun to see their excitement as we prepare for baby brother to come and I am confident they will make great siblings for this new little one.  

I am grateful for the course we had to take with Mark's career this last year.  Even though it was really hard to be separated, amongst other things, it has been made very clear that he had to go on that path in order to get where he is.  We are so grateful to be back working for the company Mark always dreamed of and be able to live in a place where we feel we can raise our family in the ways we want to.

Our Thanksgiving was relaxing and low-key.  Mark and I did make a pretty insane turkey (we brined, we injected, we bagged!) and had lots of other goodies.  We are, again, thankful for all our Father in Heaven has blessed us with and continues to bless us.  

BYU Game

Mark wanted to start a new tradition with Jacob and I think it is GREAT.  Mark decided that he wanted to take Jacob to a BYU football game this year and it was so fun.  I am pretty sure Jacob didn't understand what he was getting into but I know this will become a tradition that will be really special as he gets older.  

Mark picked an afternoon game and they had great weather.  They spent a lot of time walking around and getting lots of snacks but I told Mark it could only get better every year! ;)

When I asked Jacob about it after, I could tell that he really enjoyed the one-on-one time he got with his Dad.  Love these boys of mine!

Halloween

We had a GREAT Halloween!  I could not get over how adorable the kiddos' costumes were this year.  This was also the first year I didn't make their costumes.  I felt a little guilty about it - but in the end, loved how they turned out!  

Jacob, of course, wanted to be Darth Vader.  I could NOT find a pattern for anything so it worked out great when I found this costume.  He LOVED it!

Sarah picked out a fairy costume.  And, seriously, she is the cutest thing I have ever seen.  She looked absolutely adorable.  The HATED taking off the costume and I am convinced would wear it every day if I let her - and if it didn't leave a trail of glitter behind!

Here in Garden City (since everyone lives so far apart), everyone comes to the campground where they have big blow up bounce houses, treats and then everyone just stands by the cabins while the kids trick or treat.  The kids had a great time playing in the bounce house while we waited for the trick or treating to start.  And luckily, Mark got there just as we were about to start the trick or treating. 

We came home, had some soup and bread, and the kiddos were in Halloween heaven.  

It was a very Happy Halloween!

Carving Pumpkins

We had a *mostly* great time carving our pumpkins this year.  Jacob enjoyed getting to design his pumpkin and Sarah took ten years to clean out her seeds!  

I, sadly, made the mistake of proclaiming my pumpkin to be the best one I've ever carved.  Bold - I know.  But I was pretty proud and stand by my statement.  However, Jacob knocked it off of the table and it broke shortly after making my proud statement.  I was super sad.  Mark attempted to piece it back together with a plastic fork but it was a no go.  

It's all about the experience though, right?!

Pumpkin Walk

Ahhh!  I am SO very behind in blogging.  So this is me playing LOADS of catch up.  

In October, we took the kiddos to the pumpkin walk in Logan.  It was so fun to be able to go.  I loved going to it in college and seeing all of the young families and so it was special to be able to become one of those young families.  

It was a truly PERFECT fall day and the kids seemed to really like it.  The Winnie the Pooh set was definitely the favorite!  And the kids loved looking for the hidden ghost in each scene.  

We had a great time and I hope this is just the beginning of many more "pumpkin walks" to come.