I just finished our 2012 Scrapbook for us and I also made one for Jacob and I
love how they turned out.
LOVE LOVE LOVE them. Can you tell I am excited about them?! I did Jacob's a little differently but for Mark and I's I included all of my blog posts (which is essentially my journaling) and added them to our scrapbook and I love reading through them. Being able to read in detail what was going on with the pictures really makes that time of our lives come alive to me (even if it wasn't that long ago). I definitely feel like it will be something I treasure my whole life.
So with that, I have a renewed determination to be more
real in our blog. And by that I mean that when it's a cruddy week - say that it was a cruddy week, because well, that's
real life.
This week was a cruddy week. I just kind of felt bombarded by all sorts of emotions. I felt very up and down. I feel like right now we are in this waiting area for so many things and pretty much
all of them are out of my control. I don't like it. This week I have just felt really anxious, emotional and a little lonely.
But I also feel like I have also been exceptionally blessed the last week as well. Throughout all of these feelings of anxiety, doubt and fear I have had
countless moments where I know that I am not alone. These tender mercies came at exactly the moments when I needed them the most and have really meant a lot to me.
One of them came to me through the words of one of Jacob's picture books. I was sitting there reading to Jacob in his rocking chair when the words to this book just touched my heart in a really simple and beautiful way. It was exactly what I needed to hear right then.
Another tender mercy that I keep going back to over and over again was a talk I read a couple of days ago by President Monson. It was from this last month's general conference and I just cried the whole time I was reading it. I love our sweet Prophet. My heart just hurts for him and the pain that he has and continues to feel for the loss of his wife. My heartaches right now are nothing compared to his. But they are still important to me and therefore I know that they are also important to the Lord. He said some things that have just really touched me.
"Whenever we are inclined to feel burdened down with the blows of life, let us remember that others have passed the same way, have endured, and then have overcome.
Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were - better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before.
This should be our purpose - to persevere and endure, yes, but also to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and sorrow."
Now, I am most definitely not going through a time of great sorrow or even any major trial and for that I am grateful. Just a period of uncertainty. I am also grateful for the presence of the Spirit in our home. That as soon as I feel those moments of uncertainty building up inside of me I receive a confirmation that it will all work out. I am grateful for faith. And I am grateful for this week, even though it was hard, because I think I am stronger now than I was at the beginning of the week.
I know this post was a little heavy. But this week kind of felt heavy around here. Here's hoping for better weeks ahead!
Also, we are going to the zoo tomorrow for family fun day - I am PUMPED!
