A New Baby

Written April 13:

Yesterday, I had the greatest, happiest surprise.  A couple months ago Mark and I started talking about growing our family again.  We prayed and talked and prayed some more and felt like it was time.  As always we were concerned about the pregnancy.  Mark's current work situation is definitely no where close to ideal and he especially was concerned about leaving me for days while he was gone in Twin Falls.  This, of course, was also a concern for me but when I get the feeling we should have another baby it is hard for me to put it aside.  I trust those feelings and trust that they come because it's time and somehow it will work out.

For the first time, we didn't get pregnant as easily.  I realize that that is more "normal" than what our experience has been in the past but it was difficult for me to see a negative pregnancy test.  We just trusted that it would happen when it's meant to. 

Then we also received the news that there was an opening for our dream job in the Bear Lake area.  We knew we had to apply and see what happened knowing that that meant the possibility of a move.  It seemed crazy to keep trying with that possibility in the future but we felt peace that we should continue moving forward.

It was still a couple days early but I decided to take a pregnancy test so that I could have Mark home before he left for a six day work week in Twin Falls.  It came back negative again.  I was so sad.  I didn't understand why I felt so certain about having a baby and wasn't being able to.  Again, I knew this was so common but it was all new feelings for me.  Mark comforted me and just confirmed that it would happen when it's meant to. 

The next day Mark left for Twin Falls.  And as the days went by I became more and more uneasy because nothing was happening.  I didn't want to go get another test just to get another negative result.  But finally after several days I couldn't take it anymore and got another test.  I told myself I would wait until morning and I had a really restless night.  I even dreamed that I was pregnant and normally I don't have dreams that mirror my real life like that.  I was so nervous to take the test because I didn't want all of those good feelings to go. 

After I took the test, I waited and prayed, like I always do.  I prayed that I would feel peace with whatever the result was.  When I went back into the bathroom I fully anticipated to see a negative result and immediately started happy crying when I saw a positive.  I was not expecting it at all and was so full of happiness. 

Mark was getting home late that night and I could not wait to tell him the news.  In the past I've always told him immediately and so this was a new experience.  I went down and got a poster from the store and the kids and I decorated it with babies and our due date.  We hung it up on the fireplace knowing that would be the first thing he would see when he came home. 

When I heard the garage door open shortly after midnight I was so excited.  I just sat there on the couch waiting for him to come in.  When he came in I saw his eyes go immediately to the poster and I said, "surprise!"  He couldn't believe it.  And I still couldn't believe it.  We were both so happy and excited for a new little one to join our family. 

So Baby B, know that you so loved and wanted.  We feel blessed and honored that our Heavenly Father is allowing us to have another one of His precious children join our family.  Your brother and sister can't wait to meet you.  Jacob says he wants three baby sisters (let's just hope not all at once!) and we are working with Sarah on not poking baby's eyes.  In another eight months I am sure she'll have figured it out!  We love you.  Stay safe and healthy.  And we can't wait for December - and for forever after that. 

Memorial Day

Last year, we started a new tradition for our Memorial Day.  We decided to make it a family history day for us as well.  Last year, we celebrated Mark's grandparents and so this year it was my side of the family.  I decided to spotlight my Great-Grandpa and Grandma Clegg.

For dinner I told some history about these two great people.  I talked about how Grandpa Joseph's Dad left on a mission to Europe when he was only three years old and was gone for over three years.  And that he served in both World War I and World War II.  He was a farmer his whole life.  

My Grandma Alice was born in Indiana and had, what it seems to me, as a difficult upbringing.  Her parents were divorced shortly after she was born and she had no relationship with her father.  Her mother remarried but died when Alice was only five.  When Alice was in her early twenties she moved out to Idaho to teach school and there met my Grandpa Joseph.  They married and one year later she joined the church and they were later sealed in the temple.  They had six children together.  Grandpa Joseph passed away young and Grandma Alice never remarried, waiting 35 years to reunite with Grandpa Joseph.  

I am grateful for my ancestry.  It has always given me strength and a sense of direction to know where and who I come from.  Mark and I hope to instill that in our children as well.  

I thought it would be fun to not only tell stories about them but to also incorporate their heritage into our dinner choices.  My Grandpa Joseph was an Idahoan through and through - so we had huckleberry ice cream as huckleberries are the state fruit.  My Grandma Alice was born and raised in Indiana before coming to Idaho to teach school as a young adult and so we made sugar cream pie which is the Indiana State Pie.  So sugar cream pie with some huckleberry ice cream on the side - not a shabby way to end a great day!

Bear World

We have been one giant bundle of stress lately and were in definite need of some family fun time.  So Memorial Day morning we headed to Yellowstone Bear World.  It was so much fun!  We had wanted to go for a long time and it was even better than what I expected.  

We had been to a park that was similar to this back in South Dakota on our family trip (when I was eight months pregnant with Jacob!) and even though the drive-around part was definitely better at the one we went to before I felt like they had so many other things as well that made it totally worth it.  

Jacob loved looking for the animals and his favorite were the bears!  

After we drove around the park we parked and headed out for more fun.  They had three baby bear cubs in their own section and they were adorable.  Sarah loved the "babies!" and they were so sweet to look at.  They even have a program where you can sign up to bottle feed them which I wanted to do so bad but it was so expensive we decided we shouldn't but someday I am definitely going to snuggle with one of those bear cubs!

They had a perfect little amusement ride section for our kiddos.  It was definitely more for young children and so was therefore perfect for us.  This part definitely was surprising for us.  Sarah is almost always the the go-getter in our family and encourages Jacob in new situations where he tends to be more cautious.  But it was the complete opposite this time around!  Jacob LOVED all of the rides and could have spent the whole day going on them over and over!

They had a train, a bear tilt-a-whirl, a racecar ride that took you up and down, a mini roller-coaster, and one of those rides that takes you up in the air and gradually drops you down (that I would NEVER go on!).  Jacob loved them all!  We took Sarah on the train and the roller coaster and she was not a fan of either.  She was definitely very content to watch Jacob go on the rides and she would watch him happily and say "bye bye".  

Another highlight was the petting zoo section.  They had deers (including the sweetest baby deer), pigs, goats, chickens, and ducks.  Another surprise was in this section.  Again, Jacob was all over this!  We have done petting zoo type of things before and he has never been interested in even touching them and he was so eager to feed them!  It was so much fun for me to watch him be so brave and love the experience.  The animals all loved him for the food and Mark got his shirt chewed on more than once from several goats - so overall a pretty successful trip!  Haha!

Mother's Day

Oh Mother's Day.  Mark had to work in Twin Falls and so the kidlets and I decided to head down to Draper to spend some time with my family.  It's been awhile since I have spent much time with them so I was excited.  However, by the time Mother's Day swung around I wasn't feeling too great.  Crumby timing.  

So I spent my day in my pajamas but my Mom and Dad made such a yummy dinner and Megan and my Grandma Moldenhauer came over and it was great to spend some time with them.  This was the first time I had seen my Grandma since my Grandpa's funeral and so it was nice to sit down and spend some time with her.  

Mark had sent me some presents for Mother's Day (which was so sweet!) and it was a great day in many ways.  

I have been thinking about "motherhood" a lot lately and what it means to me personally.  I've never felt like a very ambitious person, I never really made a lot of goals with regards to a career or anything like that.  I don't even have a "bucket list"!  All I have ever wanted to do was to be a wife and mother.  Truly.  And I am so grateful every day that I am able to do that.  With that, however, I think I have put a lot of pressure on myself.  Since this is my one life ambition, I so strongly want to do it "well".  I want to be one of those "angel mothers" you here about.  But most of the time I just end my day looking back at how I should have handled things better - been more kind, been a better listener, been more patient, etc.  

I've realized that a lot of where I feel I stumble throughout the day comes because I am not "present".  I think I have thought of that before but always dismissed it because I am always HERE - I am always with my children.  But I want to be more apart of their lives - in how they see the world.  So that is my goal.  I imagine that this will have to be a lifetime goal - but I hope that this year I can really try and focus in on how my children see the world and really try and be apart of THAT.  

Because, these two, are so worth all that I can give them.  

Bear Lake Community Health Clinic

WE ARE MOVING!

Wait a second, did I just type that?!  

Seriously.  

I cannot believe it - but it is true!

Story time.  The last six months have been kind of rough.  Let's be honest - the last eighteen months have been kind of rough for us!  I truly believe that I have never had such a "refining" time in my entire life.  But here's the story.  

Post grad life was difficult for us.  We had been told for four years (while in school) how the blessings would just pour for us once we were done.  And we believed it would - we didn't know how but we believed that it would.  It didn't quite work out that way - or at least not in the time table that we imagined. 

We moved in with Mark's parents and lived with them for five months which was so kind of them but was obviously not what we had planned.  We struggled to find a job and it was a discouraging time.  Finally, we decided to go with Walgreens and take a job in Idaho.  Mark originally signed up to be a floater pharmacist within the Eastern Idaho district of Walgreens.  We felt strongly to move to Idaho Falls.  We felt like it would not only be a good fit for our family but that it also made sense for Mark's job.  Six of the ten stores within the district were within 30 minutes of Idaho Falls and so it seemed like a great spot.  

After we decided this we contemplated our living situation.  We actually were planning on renting for a while but then just kept coming back to buying.  We felt like it was the right move for us.  We found our home and were beyond excited to have our first home!  Our neighborhood and ward have been phenomenal - never in my life have I felt such genuine kindness from a group of people.  We immediately felt such peace about picking this particular home and that this could be a place where we could lay down some roots.  

Truly, everything was pretty perfect.  Everything, that is, except Mark's job.  From the day we moved in Mark has worked every single shift in Twin Falls.  We never felt like it was what he signed up for.  About a month or so after we moved they decided to make him manager with the promise that he would be transferred to Idaho Falls in the spring when one of the managers here was retiring.  It seemed great and we felt like we could manage this schedule into the spring.  

I could go on and on...and on about different events that happened in between but promises weren't kept and Mark grew steadily uneasy about his job.  Mark was unhappy and exhausted with his schedule and always being away from home and definitely wanted to make a change.  We definitely didn't want to move and leave our new home but we started investigating other options.  

Right after Mark and I got back from our San Francisco trip at the end of February he saw a listing for a job with Bear Lake Community Health Clinic.  This was the company Mark had worked with as a tech for almost three years before doing pharmacy school.  He had really enjoyed his time there and it was always his dream to be able to go back and work as a pharmacist.

This opening, however, was for a new clinic that they were opening in Montpelier, Idaho - which is where Mark grew up (about 30 miles north of Garden City)!  He was thrilled at the possibility to work for this company that he respected and to an area that we both love.  

We were hesitant to apply because we knew we didn't want to leave our new home but we decided that we would always wonder "what if" if we didn't pursue it further.  So Mark applied for the job and the whole process took quite a while.  Which ended up being a good thing I think because it let the idea really settle with us too.  Plus, we weren't in too big of a hurry ourselves!

Last week though, Mark was officially offered the job and we have accepted!  It still blows my mind.  I keep waiting for the day when it is going to feel "real" and it still has definitely not hit me yet.  I really believe that this is going to be such a great place for us.  Mark and I have always wanted to raise our family in a small community.  And this is Mark's dream job which makes me so happy for him.  Working in the clinic gives him both the retail side of things but also a clinical side as well as he works with the PA's and others in the clinic.  It is also a Monday through Friday, nine to five job which feels like a dream to us right now!  I can't wait to SEE Mark every day and have dinner as a family every night again.  We can't wait!

The thought of moving again makes me a little nauseous.  This will be our fourth move in eighteen months (seriously, cruel and unusual punishment).  I guess I am glad Mark talked me out of throwing out our moving boxes that we have used over the last five years!  

So now, we get to go through the process of selling our first home (insert tears here) and we are hoping to find a place to rent for a while in the Bear Lake area.  We are moving on to yet another chapter in our lives.  I swear, one of these days, we are actually going to be able to settle down!  But for now, here's to another adventure!

I will say, though, it doesn't get much more beautiful than this, folks!

Zoo

Last week, Mark took Jacob and Sarah to the zoo for some daddy bonding time.  It was all Mark's idea and I have to admit, I was a little jealous, but mostly so so happy that these kiddos could go and spend some quality time with their Daddy.  

Mark said it was a perfect morning and they loved their time together.  These kiddos have a pretty great Dad.  

Also, I am assured that Sarah was there too.  However, she was not pictured - tisk tisk!

Sarah's Hearing

This has been quite the journey for our sweet, little Sarah.  For those that have followed the blog you'll remember the ride we have been on with Sarah and her hearing.  If not, you can catch up here, here and here.  

Ever since we moved to Utah in December of 2014 we were planning on getting Sarah checked out with her hearing.  But 2015 was definitely not an easy year for our family and we were never able to get her seen due to insurance issues.  

Now that we are finally settled in Idaho Falls we have been doing all sorts of doctor and dental visits and we finally were able to get Sarah into an audiologist today.  

I wasn't really sure how the appointment was going to go.  In the past they were very long (usually three hours) and Sarah needed to be sleeping or at least "at rest".  Sarah is a very active little girl and I wasn't sure how they were going to perform the tests.  She did amazingly well.  Mark is in town and so we were both able to go (and Jacob was able to go play with a friend which was so helpful!).  

Sarah is seriously the sweetest little thing.  I could gush about this little one all day.  We were so hoping and praying that after this appointment we could finally end all of this.  However, after performing all of the tests (which Sarah sat so patiently on Mark's lap the entire time!) we had some happy/sad conclusions.  

Sarah does have some mild hearing loss in both ears.  This was hard to hear for Mark and I.  The good news is that they believe it can be fixed and there doesn't appear to be anything structurally wrong with her ears that would indicate the need for hearing aids.  There is still quite a bit of fluid in both of her ears which the audiologist believes once removed (with tubes) should allow her to hear completely.  

So the next step is that we will be meeting with an ENT and, most likely, schedule a surgery for tubes to get put in her ears.  The thought of surgery really scares me (I've never had surgery of any kind before so it is just unknown territory for me) but I know it is very common.  We are so very grateful that there is a solution for her though.  It look like we will have to be on this hearing journey a little longer.  

We love you, sweet girl.