Homeschooling

A couple weeks ago we made a big decision in our family - we decided to home school Jacob.  This was a surprisingly really easy decision to make considering what a big decision it was.

Mark and I have talked about the idea of homeschooling for a long time - like a really long time.  Ever since my short stint in school in Denver, which lasted a grand total of six days, we started talking about homeschooling.  It seemed like homeschooling was definitely not uncommon in our ward in Denver.  So I was able to talk to lots of different people who were actually doing it.  There began to be a growing number of things about it that really appealed to me.

We talked about it a lot but never about it in reality.  Does that make sense?  So I had a vague idea in my mind about how I would want to do things but nothing concrete.  

Pretty much ever since we moved here there has been a little bit of anxiety about what we would do with Jacob about kindergarten.  We live right on the border of Utah and Idaho - but currently live on the Utah side.  The new home that we are building is on the Idaho side.  We knew that we would not be in our new home by the time he started, and we didn't want to switch him mid-year, and I didn't feel like Jacob's personality would do well with a full-day kindergarten schedule that they do here on the Utah side.  I talked to the principal at the school he would attend in our new home and she said that he could come if we could get a P.O. Box in the district.  We've been unable to do that so far and if we didn't have it we would have to pay roughly $650 a MONTH to have him go (because of out-of-state tuition).  Crazy.  

Anyway, with all of that being said, we surprisingly weren't really stressed about it.  We thought things would just work out.  And they have, just not in the way that we thought they would.  

I feel like it was a pretty heavy praying time for me.  It was a high stress time with our home, finalizing our plans and budget and I was praying for help to make wise decisions with all of that.  I was also feeling like there was something missing in my life a little.  I felt like I was lacking purpose and direction a little.  And I was praying for guidance to help me find that purpose.  And, as always, I was praying for each of my children, to know how to be the mother that each of them needs in their own way.

And one morning, I got up and was doing our regular morning routine and the idea of actually homeschooling Jacob entered in my mind...and it would not leave.  And the thing was, I wasn't trying to get it to leave.  I finally entertained the thought of actually doing it.  And the idea just erupted in my mind.  It just grew exponentially bigger by the moment.  And instead of getting stressed or overwhelmed I felt such an enormous amount of peace.  I just knew that this is what we were supposed to be doing.  

It seemed to answer every prayer that I had been asking.  It felt, and continues to feel, so right.  I was almost immediately reminded of a part of my patriarchal blessing which I had never interpreted that way before but seemed to be screaming - you are supposed to homeschool.  

I was a little nervous about bringing it up to Mark that evening - mostly because I was so jazzed about it and knew he would not see it coming.  But he was so supportive!  As he always it - seriously, he is a winner.  We just sat on the back porch and talked everything all out and it all just fell into place.  

The last month has been insane.  Obviously, with homeschooling, you can start and stop whenever you want, but I knew I wanted to start around the same time as school was starting for everyone else.  So that meant that I needed to get on it NOW.  We made the decision August 4 and I feel like I've been running ever since to try and figure out WHAT I wanted to do and HOW I wanted to do it.  It's been crazy but I also have a strong love for planning things and so I have actually really enjoyed it.  

One thing I was a little nervous about was telling Jacob.  We've been talking about going to kindergarten and I didn't want him to be disappointed that he was stuck with me.  However, it brought tears to me eyes when I told him.  When I asked him if he wanted to stay at home and do kindergarten with me, his eyes just lit up and he was so excited.  I love this boy.  I love his strong desire to learn.  And I am so grateful that I get to have a front row seat for it.  

Jacob has been so excited every time we get a package with more stuff for kindergarten.  Sarah has also informed us that she is going to do kindergarten with Daddy so I hope you are ready for that, Mark!  

This was not an expected course for my life but at the same time I cannot tell you how right it feels for me and for our family right now.  I don't know if we will just do it this year or if we will become a full fledged home school family for forever but I do know that it is what we need to be doing right now.