Written last Saturday, February 7:
So this last week was kind of horrible. Really. It was one of the most negatively emotionally charged weeks ever. Sounds dramatic, I know, but really I was a wreck.
From pretty much the second Monday started things just went bad. After Monday, my goal every day was to simply not cry - and every day I cried. It was one of those weeks that was just hard.
It all boils down to one word - overwhelmed. I was completely overwhelmed.
All of a sudden it hit me that Mark was leaving, that he was going to be leaving for a long time. Last year, at this exact same time, I had come to Draper to stay with my parents so that they could help take care of Jacob while I was so sick pregnant with Sarah. We had been apart for four weeks and it was horrible. I hated every single second of being away from Mark. And when we got back I made Mark promise that we would never do that again. And now we are doing it again - but for so much longer! Boo.
I depend on him. Maybe I depend on him too much. He is my best friend in every way. And I feel like marriage is supposed to be like this. Aren't you supposed to want to be with each other?! Well, I do. It makes me so sad to think of being apart. I am sad for him and all that he is going to miss with Jacob and Sarah. The whole situation just makes me very sad.
And then Jacob decided to switch places with a child that was...well, I don't know a positive word for that child. Seriously, I felt like I had stepped into a Super Nanny episode. He was screaming, hitting, you name it. It was horrible. Example: One day he was in his room in time-out and I was sitting outside of his door on the floor with Sarah waiting for him to calm down when all of a sudden his door opens and he throws his plastic cash register at me. Yep, you read that correctly. Seriously. It was horrible. I just cried all the time. Never, ever, ever, had Jacob acted so horrifically. So, Jacob when you are reading this in a couple of years I deserve a hug. It was a hard mom week.
Jacob has luckily switched back to his normal self and we are back to loves and please and thank yous. Thank goodness. I promise I love my children, but seriously, throwing a cash register!!! It was horrible.
Then if all of that weren't enough, everything else just seemed to be up against me. For example, in a ten minute period of preparing dinner one night. I open the oven to take our dinner and had grabbed a kitchen towel to quickly take it out (I know I should have used an oven mit!) and I lift dinner out to notice that the towel is on fire! Yes, fire. Awesome. Once I get that out, I go to open a cupboard and our griddle falls down from the top shelf hitting me and breaking. Seriously. No good.
So yes, last week was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. All I could think of is things can seriously only go up from here. And they have. We are all happy and no one is crying (especially me!) and so things are definitely looking up. But here is a very real post about our real life and the week that we just had!
So we will end on a positive note with adorable "everyday" pictures of the two cutest kids around...
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| Every time they both wear their "Christmas" pajamas, Jacob asks to take a picture. Also, don't mind that Sarah has apparently broken out of them - just noticed! |
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| Jacob did this completely on his own - precious |
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| One tired little girl |
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| I come out of the shower and Jacob is reading to a doll! He told me he was putting her to bed. |
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| The cuteness is overwhelming. |
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| Jacob did his hair like Grandpa Clegg - his words! |
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