Newborn

One of my good friends took some newborn pictures of our little Sarah and I am in love with them.  She was able to capture so many of Sarah's sweet expressions.  

I love this little girl.  

Birth Story

The time leading up to the birth of Sarah was definitely a confusing time.  I assumed that labor and delivery would go the same as it did with Jacob and it proved to be very different.

About a week before Sarah was born I started to feel some sharp pains in my lower back.  At first I didn't pay too much attention to them because I have lower back pain for the majority of my pregnancy.  But then it occurred to me that these were probably contractions that I was feeling.

Before with Jacob, I never had any contractions before my water broke.  Once I did begin to feel contractions, it was all back labor.  So that only confirmed in my mind that that must be what I was feeling.  I started worrying about "timing" my contractions and was just really confused about the whole thing.

But then at about 4:15 Thursday morning I woke up to my water breaking.  We had been packed and ready to go so we just got dressed, picked up Jacob and loaded up in the car.  We dropped off Jacob at the Zurchers and headed over to the University of Colorado Hospital.  

Once we were admitted and settled in they checked me and I was dilated to a four.  I actually wasn't really feeling any contractions very strongly at this point.  They told us that they would give me a couple of hours and see how I was progressing and go from there.  This time went by really fast and definitely let it settle in that our little girl was coming!

At 9:30 AM, they checked me again and I was still only a four.  So they told me that they were going to put me on Pitocin to speed things along.  They had put me on Pitocin with Jacob as well but it still took quite awhile so I just assumed that it would be the same with our baby girl.  Quickly after I was started though the contractions became more frequent and painful. 

At 10:30 AM, I was given my epidural.  By 11:00 AM, my nurse came in and asked me if I would lay on my side to help get little sister more active.  So I laid on my side and almost immediately began to feel a lot of pain.  But the weirdest part for me was that I had a very strong feeling to "push."  With Jacob, although I was "pushing" for over three hours I never felt like I needed to push.  It was really painful and I just kept thinking it would go away, but after a couple of minutes Mark was convinced something was wrong and went and got a nurse.  

I am so glad he did!  Because they came in and it became immediately apparent that this little girl was coming and coming fast!  The doctors came in and started preparing the room.  I asked them if it was okay to push and they told me to try and hold it in if I could while they prepared.  Well...there was no holding this little girl in!  On my third push she was out!  She came at 11:20 AM.  And although she was so much faster than Jacob it was a lot more painful!  Ouch!

Grandma Clegg arrived just after Sarah was born - so fun to have her here!

I immediately fell in love with this little girl.  I feel like it is such a blessing that I have always felt such an immediate connection with my two children.  

That night when it was just Mark and I we decided on her name.  We love to be able to look at our sweet little babies before deciding on a name.  And I love how each time we both have just known what they should be called.  We love our sweet Sarah and we feel like her name fits her just perfectly.  We can't stop looking at her!  She is beautiful and we our so proud to be her parents.  We are so grateful that she is here safe and sound.

We love you sweet girl.  

Sarah Esther

We are incredibly excited to announce the birth of our daughter

Sarah Esther

She was born on September 11th at 11:20 AM.  She is 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 1/2 inches.  She is beautiful and has brought such a sweet spirit to our home.  We love her and are so blessed to have her as a member of our family.

Our little Sarah was given the name of Esther as her middle name in honor of her great-grandmother, Esther.  This is Mark's paternal grandmother and we are so happy to pass on her name and legacy to our little Sarah.

We love you baby girl.

The Waiting Game

I think it's about time for a pregnancy update post!

We are definitely playing "The Waiting Game" now.  I will be 38 weeks along on Friday and couldn't be happier about that.  Mostly because Jacob was born at 38 weeks so I have definitely gotten my hopes up that little sister will make her appearance here 

really soon.  

Little Sister is just looking great!  Her heartbeat continues strong, she is measuring right on target - everything looks great!  As my doctor told me yesterday, we have every reason to believe she will be a perfectly healthy little girl.  

However, despite all of that, it has been a difficult week and a half for me with anxiety about the pregnancy.  I have a sweet friend here in Denver, who was expecting her first little girl the same week ours is due, and she was born two weeks ago stillborn.  My heart just aches for her and her sweet husband.  I cannot possibly imagine what they are going through.  They have been in my thoughts and prayers every day.  

Although my anxiety over my pregnancy is nothing compared to what they are enduring, it has been difficult in it's own way.  I have just been really anxious.  I worry constantly about the movement of the baby and if things are feeling "right."  

I told my doctor last week at my appointment about some of my anxieties and he has been really thoughtful.  I still worry a lot and just can't wait for little sister to come so we can love her and start this next chapter in our lives.  

So for now we are just waiting.  She can come any day now!  

WOOT WOOT!

 

Mark's 32nd Birthday

Yesterday was Mark's 32nd Birthday!  

WOOT WOOT!

I love this man of mine.  I appreciate more than he will ever know all that he does for our little family - and not only what he does but how he makes us feel every day.  He is such a kind, supportive, and loving father and husband.  I love you hun.  

We started the day with some waffles before we had to drop Mark off at work.  Once five o'clock rolled around we went and picked him up and went straight to Olive Garden for dinner.  We stuffed ourselves silly and had a great and relaxing dinner.  We then scurried home and opened cards and presents.  I then had to leave to go to mutual and the boys "partied" on.  When I came home we had birthday cake which was pretty incredible tasting - mint ice cream brownie bars.  

Yum...

We then spent the rest of the evening watching a documentary about great white sharks that Mark is loving right now, snuggling, and sipping limeaide.  Life is good.

It was a great day celebrating this man that we love so much.  

32 looks pretty good on him :)

Wild Animal Sanctuary

Yesterday we went to the Wild Animal Sanctuary.  Mark decided to go for his birthday activity which was fun because we had come two years ago for his birthday.  

As a recap, it is a place for large animals who have been rescued from abusive situations.  They have lions, bears, bobcats, leopards, mountain lions, tigers, and wolves.  And there is a walk-way they have created above the animals that you walk on.  The whole layout is really neat.

It was an absolutely perfect evening!  Jacob was loving every minute of being there.   He could just run up and down the walkway and look on both sides and point at all of the different animals.  It was adorable and he was in heaven.  

We walked down the walkway all the way and then stopped and ate a little picnic dinner that we brought.  Then things really started to get exciting.  As we were eating (in front of the grizzly bears) they started wrestling with each other.  It was so neat - and crazy to watch!

After we were done eating and started walking back along the walkway (this was right at sunset) it seemed like all of the animals were putting on a show!  The wolves were definitely Jacob's favorite part.  They have a section where there are three arctic wolves and two timber wolves.  We were watching them and all of a sudden they started wrestling and playing with one another.  They were running all around and Jacob just kept running back and forth watching and giggling.  They have a little pond area and they would run through it and shake off and Jacob was all giggles.  It was a toss-up which was more fun - watching the wolves or watching Jacob watch the wolves!

Then as we passed the lions they all started roaring back and forth and it was pretty incredible.  It was beautiful and exciting to watch.  We just seemed to be in the right place at all the right times.  We loved it!

Having a Toddler

I decided that I needed to do a post about my life as of late...

with a toddler.  

First of all, I was incredibly blessed with Jacob.  There are a million and one different ways why I feel so blessed that he is a part of our family and I get to be his mother - but one wonderful thing about Jacob was he was a total angel baby.  He really was.  If I had one word to describe him as a baby it would be content.  He was so relaxed about everything and was such a joy to be around.  I like to think this was partly just a perk for the nine months of pregnancy in which we did not seem to get along.  

When Mark and I decided that we were ready to have our family grow and get pregnant again the biggest topic for us was actually not when the baby got here but the nine months leading up to it.  We knew Jacob would be fully into the "toddler phase" but we were optimistic and felt so good about everything we knew it would just work out.  And work out it has.  But it definitely hasn't been easy.  

Oh my goodness, having a toddler is rough work some days.  And the truth is, I know that it could be worse.  Jacob is still such a gem most of the time.  But there are days when it is just hard.  The last two or three months have been by far the hardest of my parenting life.  I am sure it doesn't help that I am pregnant, not feeling well most of the time, exhausted and in constant fear that our neighbor is going to confront me again about Jacob's "behavior."

About two months ago our neighbor below us started to get more and more vocal about his disapproval of Jacob's behavior.  The thing is Jacob loves to jump.  I mean I am sure every child does but he jumps and hops everywhere!  And he does it when he's happy.  He finds a toy he's been looking for - he jumps excitedly - he finishes a puzzle - he jumps excitedly - Dad gets home from work - he jumps excitedly.  And it's hard, and I don't think really fair, for me to get mad at him for being excited and happy.  Now, I completely understand from our neighbor's point of view that it's probably not something he wants to hear every day.  I really do get it.  However, the bigger part of me thinks that I've had to hear and put up with things I'd rather not have to too.  It's just a part of apartment living.  But it still doesn't make things easy.  

Like when Mark gets home sometimes we get so excited that we run into the fireplace...ouch!

So I've been torn with trying to be a good neighbor and trying not to be an ever-nagging mother.  I swear I say, "let's be soft with our feet!" a hundred times a day.  Most of the time I try and just redirect him but it's hard.  Plus, when there are so many other things that actually matter that need correction it's frustrating to have to add another one to the list.  Especially one that if we had our own place I would not even think about.  

Anyway, that's my rant about feet.  People assure me that one day I will look back and smile and laugh about these times in the apartment - and I hope I will.  Mark and I cannot wait to have a home of our own.  Every day folks - we talk about it every day.  That day cannot come soon enough!

The hardest part of adjusting to this period though has been figuring out what kind of a parent I want to be.  I don't really know another way of putting it.  Of course going into parenting you think about it and you think you are always going to be calm, cool, and collected and of course, always know the right way to react in every situation and unfortunately, for me, that just hasn't happened a lot the last couple of months.  I have never felt so lost in how to parent.  And I still am so far from knowing all of the answers.

There have been many tears (from both Jacob and me) in figuring all of this out.  Figuring out what works for Jacob and what works for me.  What I can feel good about doing.  And even though I have this grand idea in my head about the kind of mother I want to be - but actually implementing that in a way that works and is real.  It's been a learning experience.  And definitely the biggest learning experience for me in parenting thus far.  I am sure there will be more times like these.  More times of reflection and figuring out what works.  

I hope that this has had all made sense.  I wanted to write something that was real for me.  Something to remember this time in my life.  

I am very happy though to say that I feel like things are going much better.  There are still times of frustration and I still think every day about how I can be a better mother but I finally feel like Jacob and I are understanding one another better.  Which, by the way, couldn't have come at a better time since we are very close to little sister joining our family!  

So this is what I am learning about having a toddler.  It's a learning experience.  It tries your patience and can make you question things about yourself.  BUT it's also an amazing time! Their personality is just gushing out, you finally are catching really concrete glimpses into how their mind works and operates (and they can even start to tell you themselves!), and they can give some of the best hugs when you really need them.

This video makes me cry every time, and I think I might have shared it before, but it is worth sharing again :)

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God